Why So Many Women in Their 40s and Early 50s Feel Like They’re Sinking Financially: And How You Can Take Back Control
If you’re a woman in your 40s or early 50s feeling like you're barely keeping your head above water, you’re not imagining it… the struggle is real, and you’re far from alone. A recent news article revealed that many people in this age group are just one unexpected event — like a job loss — away from financial crisis.
I know that feeling. When I returned to New Zealand in early 2020 with just my child and a suitcase, I didn’t have a savings buffer. I didn’t even have $4.50 to buy myself a coffee without counting coins from my mum’s change jar. When I came up 10 cents short at the café counter, I felt a deep sense of shame and I’ll never forget that moment — smiling at my toddler, pretending everything was fine, while wondering how I was going to rebuild our lives and start again in my late 30s.
The odds are stacked against us
It’s no wonder so many women feel like they’re sinking. The numbers paint a stark picture: 60% of people aged 45–54 have less than $60,000 in their KiwiSaver accounts. That’s not going to stretch far in retirement, especially as people start to realise they’ll need hundreds of thousands — not tens — to retire comfortably.
But here’s what those statistics don’t always show: women in particular are at a disadvantage from the outset.
According to Te Ara Ahunga Ora Retirement Commission:
Women’s financial literacy is significantly lower than men’s
We tend to earn less, take time out of the workforce to care for others, and retire with less
Most financial education isn’t tailored to women’s experiences
We were hit harder by job losses during COVID-19
And crucially, we’re more likely to suffer financially from divorce and domestic violence
That last one hits hard for me. When I left my marriage, my only goal was to get out safely. I didn’t have the capacity at that time to plan for the future. I just had to survive. Like many women who’ve experienced trauma, I was dealing with PTSD symptoms, isolation, and financial fear, all while trying to keep things together for my child.
Starting from scratch
Nine months after moving home, we were living in a tiny one-bedroom rental. I was still on the benefit, walking everywhere because I didn’t own a car. I knew that when my daughter turned three, I’d be expected to go back to work. But I had no idea how to manage money, I’d always believed I was just bad with it.
What I eventually learned is that I wasn’t hopeless with money, I was uneducated. And that’s not my fault. Many of us never learned how to budget or invest. I started Googling how to manage on a benefit. I found a budgeting method, then stumbled across a paid webinar called How to Save $10,000 in a Year. That $60 fee felt massive — it was nearly my weekly food budget — but I trusted my gut and signed up.
That decision changed everything.
I calculated my net worth for the first time. Between my student loan, debts to WINZ and my parents, I was sitting at -$39,000. It was a big hole to dig out of, but it was also my wake-up call. I didn’t want to be a financial stereotype. I wanted a better life for my daughter and me.
It’s not too late
It’s never too late to start taking control of your money, even if you’re starting from zero (or less). Even if you’re in your 40s or 50s and retirement feels like a ticking time bomb. Even if your mental health is still on the mend. I built a financial plan while on the benefit and gave myself five months to get better at budgeting, take care of my mind, and prepare to re-enter the workforce.
Fast forward to today, my net worth is positive. I’ve paid off my debts, built an emergency fund, and I’m investing in shares and KiwiSaver. I’m not rich, and I’m certainly not done healing, but I’m stable. And I started with less than nothing.
So if you're reading this while staring down a dwindling savings balance or struggling to make ends meet — know this: small steps matter. You’re not behind. You’re just getting started.
Practical ways to move forward
Here are some places to begin:
Review your KiwiSaver — Even small increases in contributions can add up. My blog on KiwiSaver explains why it’s especially important for women.
Track your money — Understand what’s coming in, going out, and where you can make changes.
Pay off high-interest debt — Credit cards and BNPL debt can be draining. Focus here first.
Build an emergency fund — Even $500 can be the difference between a crisis and a hiccup.
Find your community — Financial healing doesn’t happen in a vacuum. That’s why I created She’s Worth It — to be the resource I wish I had when I was sitting in that café, pretending everything was fine.
You don’t need to hustle 24/7 to make progress. You just need to believe you’re worth it, put a system in place and take the first few right steps.
If you want tools, encouragement, and community support, sign up for the newsletter and let’s walk this journey together.
