How to Let Go of Financial Anxiety (Without Pretending It’s Just About Budgeting)
If you’re stressed about money, you’re not alone.
And no, it’s not just “because you need a budget” or “should meditate more.”
For a lot of us, especially after financial trauma or divorce, money anxiety runs deep. It’s not just about the numbers, it’s about feeling unsafe, unsupported, and out of control.
Here’s a straight-up guide to what actually helps.
1. Figure Out What’s Really Freaking You Out
Is it debt?
A lack of savings?
Not knowing what’s going on in your accounts because you haven’t looked in months?
Get specific. “I’m terrible with money” is not the problem, it’s a symptom. Pin down the trigger so you can deal with the real issue, not just the shame spiral.
2. Face the Numbers (Yes, Even If You’re Scared)
The only way out is through.
Open your accounts. Write down what you owe. Look at what’s going in and what’s going out.
You don’t need to fix it all today, but you do need to stop avoiding it. Financial anxiety feeds on the unknown. Once you’ve seen the numbers, you can start making a plan.
3. Get a Plan — Not a Perfect One, Just a Realistic One
You don’t need a colour-coded spreadsheet or an app that syncs with your Fitbit. You just need a simple budget that fits your life.
Work out:
Your fixed costs (rent, bills, food)
Your flexible spending (groceries, petrol, the odd coffee)
What you can put toward debt and savings
And if you’ve got nothing left over right now? That’s still data. You’re not failing, you’re figuring it out.
4. Start a Safety Net (Even if It’s $5 a Week)
An emergency fund isn’t about being fancy. It’s about breathing room.
Start with whatever you can: $5, $20, coins in a jar, and build from there.
Create sinking funds for things you know are coming: car rego, school holidays, Christmas. These aren’t “unexpected”, they’re just irregular.
Make rules for what your emergency fund is for. Stick to them. Refill it when you can.
5. Track What Matters — Like Your Net Worth
Net worth = what you own minus what you owe.
Tracking it monthly gives you a zoomed-out view, which helps more than obsessing over your day-to-day bank balance.
Even if you’re in the red right now, you’ll start to see progress. And that builds confidence fast.
6. Cut Yourself Some Slack
If you’ve been through financial abuse, job loss, solo parenting, or just life in general, your brain might not trust you with money right now.
That’s okay. Trust is built over time. Every small win, every time you check your budget or pay a bill, counts.
You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to keep showing up.
7. Deal With the Stress First, Then the Spreadsheets
If you're in full fight-or-flight mode, don't try to fix your budget. You’ll only end up crying into your bank statements or rage-spending at Kmart.
Instead:
Take a walk
Do a breathing exercise
Put on music
Light a candle and do it later
Regulate first, then budget.
8. Talk to Someone (Yes, Even About Money)
We’re not meant to do this alone. Talk to a friend who gets it. Join a community. If you need to, see a financial mentor or trauma-informed therapist.
Money stress is isolating, but you’re not the only one who’s cried over a power bill. Talking about it helps.
9. Redefine What Money Means to You
You’re allowed to enjoy your money.
You’re allowed to want more.
You’re allowed to mess up sometimes and still be on track.
Money isn’t moral. It’s not a reward for being “good” or a punishment for being “bad.” It’s just a tool, and you’re allowed to learn how to use it, one step at a time.
The Bottom Line?
Financial anxiety isn’t always about the money.
It’s about safety, power, and trust, in yourself, and in your ability to handle what comes your way.
You don’t need to hustle your way out of it.
You just need to take small, consistent steps, with compassion, not perfection.
And remember: even if you’re feeling a bit wrecked right now...
You’re not broken.
You’re rebuilding.
