Government benefits: Are you getting everything you’re entitled to?

I’d never been on a benefit before returning to Aotearoa. I was grateful for the support — truly — but looking back, I can see how my lack of knowledge about what I was really entitled to made my situation harder than it needed to be.

Anyone who's ever been on a benefit knows it’s not exactly funding a luxury lifestyle. But it is meant to be a safety net. And if you’ve just left an abusive relationship, that safety net can be the only thing keeping you and your kids afloat.

After I left, I did what I thought I was supposed to do. I applied for Sole Parent Support. I got help with rent, got some support with my daughter’s daycare, and slowly started rebuilding. But it wasn’t until much later — through my own research and talking to others — that I realised there were supports I didn’t get. Grants I didn’t apply for because I didn’t know they existed. Advocacy services I didn’t know were available. And repayments I took on without knowing I might have been eligible for non-repayable options due to family violence.

It’s hard not to feel frustrated when you meet someone in a similar situation who seems to have had more support or didn’t have to pay back the same things you did. You wonder what you missed. What box you didn’t tick. What piece of information you never got.

And that’s part of the problem. When you’re already overwhelmed, trying to process trauma, and keep a roof over your head, you shouldn’t have to be a policy expert just to survive.

So here’s what I want you to know:

✅ You can use the “Check what you might get” tool on the Work and Income website. It’s a good place to start, even if you're already on a benefit.

✅ There are community organisations that can help you figure out what you're eligible for and advocate for you if you're not being heard. Look into services like Community Law, Auckland Action Against Poverty, or your local Beneficiaries Advocacy Trust.

✅ If you've experienced family violence, you may be eligible for grants that don’t need to be paid back — for things like bond, furniture, or starting over. But you often have to ask for them specifically, and some case managers still aren't trained to identify economic abuse.

✅ Legal aid might be available and in some cases, it can be wiped if it relates to family violence. You shouldn't have to go into debt to access justice.

✅ There’s a real and documented pattern of women being told incorrect information by WINZ — including being wrongly denied support or told to wait longer than legally required. If something doesn’t feel right, ask for it in writing and get a second opinion.

💔 Research from Good Shepherd shows it costs around $10,000 to safely leave an abusive relationship. And that’s just the beginning. For many women, the financial fallout lasts for years.

We need a system that makes it easier, not harder, to leave. One that recognises economic abuse as a real form of harm and removes the barriers to accessing help.

Until then, please don’t be afraid to ask for more. Advocate for yourself. Ask questions. Get support. You deserve every bit of help available to you and then some.

And if you’ve already walked this road, I’d love to know:
👉 What did you learn the hard way about benefits or support?
👉 What do you wish you knew sooner?

Let’s help each other out.